7 rules of the 1st floor bathroom
7) Don’t bother flushing the toilet. It hasn’t been flushed in over 24 hours.
6) If you ignore #7 and flush the toilet anyways, it will overflow and spread throughout the rest of the bathroom. The housemaid service will respond by throwing more water on the floor because we all know: wet dirty floor + more water = clean dry floor.
5) The sinks will have chunks in them, in a greater variety of colors than offered in MS Paint. Note: If you can, in your wasted state, remember any piece of advice, remember this: VOMIT IN THE TOILET INSTEAD. Also, keep in mind #7 and #6.
4) Yes, those are ants swimming in the shower. Close your eyes and pretend they aren’t there (Same with the flies).
3) Don’t use the 3rd shower stall. Just don’t.
2) If someone steals your towel while you’re showering because you’re singing too loud, rip the curtain off of the stall, wrap it around yourself, go back into your room, grab your knife, and threaten the person who stole it (still wearing a curtain). Don’t worry, you won’t get written up (Yes, this actually happened).
and most importantly,
1) Semen is non-polar. IT DOES NOT DISSOLVE IN WATER. Don’t use the shower. Also, for the one guy in Chem 101 that has caught onto this, don’t use the urinal as an alternative (you know who you are).
